Fisticuffs in the Choir Loft!
When anger rose to a crescendo
Four months after Max Schmeling was crowned the heavyweight boxing champion of the world in 1930, a lesser-known, unsanctioned, and certainly unsanctified, bout took place in Detroit, Michigan. The sparring began in the choir loft of the Lithuanian church of St. Anthony’s.
The pugilists were two tenors, John and Theophile.
John had been the number one tenor while Theophile sat in the family pew waiting for his chance. It came after John, according to newspaper reports, had “reached for a high C mezzo forte and gargled a note,” and later “wandered off the top of the treble clef, groped for a high one and his voice sounded like the call of the iceman.”
The choirmaster put Theophile in his place and John grudgingly took a seat. All went well until John tried to distract Theophile by making faces at him. This caused John’s dander to rise to a crescendo.
What happened next was reported thus: “When the choir filed out of the church, John, walking pianissimo, followed until he caught up with Theophile. He aimed sharp at Theophile’s larynx. The blow landed an octave high and Theophile went flat, coming up fortissimo with a black eye. Members of the choir ended the duet before it reached the finale. Theophile got an assault warrant in six-eight time.”
Appearing in court, the duo was told by the magistrate, “Music plainly has its charms, but there has been a lot of discord here and I want you two fellows to do a little harmonizing, or I will have to use another well-known method of soothing the savage beast.” John and Theophile went away, singing the blues.
As no further reports have been uncovered we take comfort in assuming the two tenors reconciled and returned, allegro, to the choir loft.
Well done!